Lake Calhoun Flying Muskellunge

Playoff preview: Attack of the clones

The Pac-Man Division playoffs are here, and despite last week's little setback, we are still very much in this thing. Our first task is to win a rematch at 9 p.m Tuesday 10/12 against Ctrl/Alt/Del (9-16-3), a team that is shaping up to be our first true archrival. But it's kind of like a bitter fraternal rivalry, because it's amazing how similar (and evenly matched) we two teams are.

This will already be our fourth meeting in 2004, dating back to two games in June when they called themselves Dangerous Machines. Our all-time record against each other is 1-1-1. On Sept. 28 we tied 3-3.

Now both teams have a fall record of 3-1-1. We have scored 31 runs and they have scored 30; we have allowed 25 runs and they have allowed 22. Those differences are negligible, but it's enough to barely put them in second place over us.

Need more? Both teams wear red shirts. It's like we dislike each other because we're so...similar.

Whatever; this game will be a colossal tiebreaker of epic proportions, and the winner goes to the division championship game. So let's review our history versus the team.

June 14: Dangerous Machines 10, Muskies 6. This was the spring equivalent of last week's collapse: We should have beaten a winless team, but we got sloppy and gave the game away. They bunted a lot to get on and then hit a few to the outfield to score. We were really clumsy on defense. They got all the breaks and we didn't. We kicked off the tee so they did too, which worked in their favor. Scotty was the starting pitcher and Gretchen the reliever, but both had equal results. They had a first-victory pile-up celebration on the field.

June 21: Muskies 8, Dangerous Machines 5. We started poorly by trying to throw at every runner and failing, leading to the creation of the ninth commandment. Dave relieved Scotty at pitcher. Down 5-1, we had the legendary fifth inning in which we suddenly hit 10 straight singles to the pitcher with two outs. Seven Muskies scored, and we made a bunch of crackerjack plays to secure the victory. When we had our own first-win celebration on the field, one of them mocked us.

June 28: I harmlessly flirted with their captain at Psycho Suzi's, and the teams seemed to be at peace. But then she moved to Chicago and the Machines transformed into bigger, badder Ctrl/Alt/Del.

Sept. 28: Muskies 3, Ctrl/Alt/Del 3. We used excellent defense to hold them down, but we also suffered through an offensive slump of our own. We hit way too many soft flies. They bunted a lot, but stranded many on base by failing to get the bunters home. They argued we should let their new captain get on base because it was her birthday. Finally Scott tripled, Dave doubled, and three more Muskies singled in the eighth inning to tie the game at the last minute. After the game, Dave confronted their chief heckler, known as the "pony-tail guy." He complained about our 10-single incident on June 21. We made an uneasy truce, but the birthday girl reportedly cried.

Oct. 12: The two teams meet to settle the score once and for all. I want us to hone our combination of finesse and power with a little strategic bunting (in accordance with A Philosophy of Bunting) followed by some well-placed bombs to the outfield. We must avoid the soft fly balls -- if you don't have power, keep it on the ground like never before! And run fast! And if we remain calm on defense and don't freak out if the bases are loaded or a run scores, we will be able to stop their nibbling offensive strategy.

And in case I haven't made this clear lately, let's have fun. As for the pony-tail guy: Let him talk, while we blow him away with our game.

Playoff seeding

Now that each team in the Pac-Man Divison has played each other once, here are the rankings for the playoffs which start Tuesday:

Tuesday Night Pac-Man Division	W	L	T	PTS	HR	RUNS FOR	RUNS AGNST	GB
Grass Kickers	4	1	0	8	2	37	16	0
Ctrl/Alt/Del	3	1	1	7	0	30	22	.5
Flying Muskellunge	3	1	1	7	1	31	25	.5
Blue Balls	2	3	0	4	0	17	24	2
Mighty Milfoil	1	4	0	2	2	33	48	3
Fire Escape	1	4	0	2	1	18	31	3

We are the #3 seed. We have the same record as Ctrl/Alt/Del, the #2 seed, but we are ranked just behind them because they have given up 22 runs and we have given up 25.

In the first round of playoffs, the #1 seed plays the #4 seed (which is why I wanted us to have the #1 seed) and the #2 seed plays the #3 seed. Also, #5 plays #6.

So, on Tuesday at 9 p.m. we will face Ctrl/Alt/Del, while Grass Kickers will face Blue Balls. The winners of those two games will meet for the division championship on Oct. 19.

Lucky penny update

I found it on my bedroom floor. I know it's the one because it was from 2001 and caked with some black tar stuff on the heads side. Now we can get back to business!

Deja vu

Now I'm spooked. Count the similarities: The Twins lost to the Yankees by a score of 7-6 in extra innings, despite a dramatic home run by the center fielder, because the manager left his closer in too long and stuck with a rookie designated hitter.

Okay, so it's not a perfect match, but it shows how the manager should take the blame, which I do. Still, it was such a similar ending that I fear the Muskies' playoff run might have some kind of cosmic link to the Twins' destiny. If that's true, and the Twins get to the ALCS, we really better beat Ctrl/Alt/Del next week.

Burn! Fire Escape 7, Muskies 6

I have a confession. Before the game, I reached in my back pocket and couldn't find the lucky penny that Jennifer found in the dugout back on Aug. 24. Perhaps it's in my laundry somewhere, but I've got to find it, wherever it is. Because as we proceeded to collapse in hilariously bizarre fashion, all that luck that we've feasted on this season turned on us and bit us back. Owie!

Let's review just how unlucky we got:

We started the night in first place in the Pac-Man Division. We only needed a tie to hold on to first. Then we got beat (by one run) by the previously winless last-place rookie team, and we dropped to third.

Scott hit the Muskies' first-ever homer, which took us a whopping 12 games to attain. But because I had strangely decided to move him back in the order a couple spots, he had no extra RBIs.

We had our best offense since Aug. 24 -- and our worst defense. We owned those Fire Escape kids for five or six innings, going 6-0 up on them before losing 7-6. Their opponents usually score about 6, but they've never scored more than 4 themselves.

I'll say it again: Owie!

The umpires tried to prematurely call the game twice -- which would have given us the win both times. The first time, they called it after seven innings (we led 6-2) but the field monitor ordered an eighth. Then they miscounted the number of outs in the eighth and tried to end it after two outs (we led 6-4). A couple hits later, they walked off with their first win.

Our run differential is slipping. We won our first game by four runs. We won our second by two. We won our third by one. We tied our fourth. We lost our fifth by one.

No single factor contributed to the loss, but as your captain I take full responsibility. We got overconfident in the last few innings and threw the ball wildly around the infield. They bunted us into oblivion and suddenly woke up with some lucky power hits. We did not run the bases alertly enough and left a few runs unscored. And there were about a dozen little defensive miscues that were excusable by themselves, but they combined into a torrential downpour of Fire Escape runs.

Oh well. I still love you guys and I hope you're still okay with me. Third place isn't so bad; we're still contenders for the playoffs, but we'll have to face a harder team in the first round. In fact, you'll be happy to know that we're probably facing our old pals/rivals Ctrl/Alt/Del next Tuesday at 9 p.m.

Some positives:

- Six runs is our best mark since we put up 14 back in the good old days of August.

- Scott gets the Muskies' first homer, for which he wins that Twins playoff ticket I promised. Hooray for Scott!

- Two unassisted double plays by Scott and Scotty, including pitcher Scotty's old pop-up-catch-and-throw-at-the-jumping-runner's-feet routine.

Let's mentally regroup and get them next week!

So close you can taste it

Tuesday Night Pac-Man Division	W	L	T	PTS	HR	RUNS FOR	RUNS AGNST	GB
Flying Muskellunge	3	0	1	7	0	25	18	0
Ctrl/Alt/Del	3	1	1	7	0	30	22	0
Grass Kickers	3	1	0	6	1	21	12	.5
Blue Balls	2	3	0	4	0	17	24	1.5
Mighty Milfoil	1	3	0	2	1	29	32	2.5
Fire Escape	0	4	0	0	1	11	25	3.5

Game 5 preview

Our next game is at 8 p.m. Tuesday vs. Fire Escape. It is NOT at 9 p.m. as I might have said once. It is at 8 p.m. We probably need to tie or win this game to clinch our number-one position in the Pac-Man Division and home-field advantage for the playoffs (unlike the Twins).

Fire Escape is a new team that has quickly sunk to last place in the Pac-Man Divison, losing their first four games. We would have played them on Sept. 14 but it was rained out. Scotty and/or Geoff and I umped for their first two games. They are nice kids; they remind me of our early days of not quite knowing how to win yet. Someday they might be good, but right now they play kind of meekly and foul a lot, and I don't think they usually have a full 11-person team on the field. Their typical game is a 6-3 loss.

So we're in first place, they're in last place, and we can take a win for granted, right? Nah. When I previewed the Sept. 14 game I set a goal of beating them by at least 10-2. But they do have some upsides. Their pitcher throws pretty hard and bouncy, which can induce fouls if you're not careful. They have hit a home run (unlike us), but that's because Blue Balls barely defended it. And they have had five weeks to get better and they might be hungry to win.

So stay the course, Muskies. I believe that we can overpower this team, but you should also read my new treatise A Philosophy of Bunting on what we should do to get on base more, get out less, and break out of our little scoring slump.

We might need to shuffle the positions a little. I might need Dave in center field, Scotty at pitcher and Geoff at shortstop and relief pitcher. At catcher, I am thinking of trying Jenny or Katie to see if they can stab some bunts (see "Defending the Bunt," below). If you have any ideas or desires, let me know.

And I'd still like to see someone on this team hit a home run. In fact, here: I will give one of my Twins playoff tickets to the first Muskie who homers. Caveats: 1) Don't do anything stupid to win this; 2) Two homers in the same inning will be a tie, settled by a coin toss; 2) Void if the Twins are eliminated before I have an available ticket; 3) You may or may not have to sit with me.

P.S. Sunday practice was fun -- Scott hit a jillion homers and I sustained a head injury (elbow to the temple).

A Philosophy of Bunting

We started this season with a surprising 14-10 win. As a result, I spent the next three games imploring the whole team to work on our offensive power. I gambled that it would be a safe strategy for the time being, and besides, power is a good thing to have.

But when you go for power, you often lose average as a natural result -- and that seems to be what has happened in Games 2 through 4, which we won or tied with defense more than offense.

After scoring only 3 runs in our last game, we need to get on base more. This fact has caused a few Muskies to ask, "What about bunting?"

Ah, bunting. It is the scourge of kickball, but so important to the game at the same time. I have generally scorned the practice, as do others, but I have to admit that a nice bunt is pretty important sometimes. And if you ask, "Do we need to double, triple and homer more or bunt more?" the answer is yes. We need to do it all.

SIMON'S BUNTING PHILOSOPHY

1) I believe that you should try to do the best you can when you get up to the plate. Bunting is often the opposite of that -- it's cheap. We're already playing kickball because we're not great at other sports, so bunting a kickball can be seen as just super-weak.

2) That's why heckling "Manbunters" is an accepted tradition in MUSA. Yes, it's a bit sexist, but if a guy bunts, it's almost considered cheating. But since manbunting is not against the rules (unless a team is up by 10 runs), heckling is the only punishment and that doesn't stop many guys from doing it. I mean, who really cares about getting called Manbunter? You're already playing a kids' game!

3) We have seen bunt-heavy teams bunt themselves to a loss. If the bases are loaded, what does bunting accomplish? You might force out the runner at home. If there are runners on first and second, does bunting to the left help? You might force the runner at third. And at best, a bunt only gets you to first base. You need three or four successful bunts in a row to even score one run. And of course, bunting often results in fouling out.

4) Despite all this, bunting can be a crucial element of teamwork and strategy. If you are the leadoff hitter in the lineup or batting first in any inning, it is your job to get on base by any means necessary. If bunting is the way you think you can do that, then go for it. It's sure better than a soft pop-up to the pitcher. Then if the next person hits the ball hard, the team could be in a much better position.

Personally, I don't like to bunt. I prefer a hard grounder, because it might accomplish the same thing as a bunt, and you might get lucky and get more. The key is making sure that it's a grounder, not a cheap pop-up. Bunting is the safer, conservative choice.

I cringe when one of our top power hitters lays down a bunt, because I want to see doubles and triples. But Dave said, "But if I've already fouled on my first kick to the outfield, I have no more room for error." He has a point. Fine -- a bunt is better with one strike, but if you're fouling a lot, you should work more on straightening out your kick.

A sacrifice bunt is practically required when there are runners at first and second and no outs. You bunt to the right side and get yourself out, but advance the runners to second and third. Chances are those runners will eventually score.

Okay, let's review:

GOOD TIMES TO BUNT
- You're up first
- Less than two outs
- No one's on base
- You're in a slump
- You don't have power
- The pitch is slow
- You're a fast runner
- You have one strike
- Infielders unprepared or playing deep
- You're a boy and not ashamed of being called Manbunter.
- Runners on first and second with no outs (hit a sac bunt to right)

BAD TIMES TO BUNT
- Two outs
- Bases loaded
- You think you can hit it hard and/or far
- The pitch is fast
- You already fouled your first bunt attempt
- You're a slow runner
- You're a girl and want to show them that you can do more than bunt

HOW TO DEFEND THE BUNT

The other side of bunting is what to do when the other team bunts. We have had a good defense but some trouble defending bunts. The most important positions for beating a bunt are pitcher, catcher and third base, in that order. All three positions MUST be prepared to charge bunts, pick them up, and throw or run to first or third. But everyone on the team must be wary of bunt possibilities.

- If the pitcher suspects a bunt, pitch the ball fast/hard. This can cause the bunter to foul and strike out. Gretchen had great success doing this.

- Infielders should hug the baselines if they anticipate a bunt. (Outfielders might move in a little to eliminate the gap.)

- The catcher must watch the kicker and anticipate the bunt. If they bunt, get in front of them and pick up the ball ASAP. If you're fast, you might be able to "catch" the runner. I have seen catchers who actually get to first before the runner does! Otherwise throw the ball to first base (or third base if there is a force there).

Teams that bunt constantly generally do not have much to offer. But a strategic use of bunting to get people on base, followed with the power and speed to get the bunters home, can be a lethal combination.

Practice?

I almost wept tears of joy when I heard several Muskies talking after the game about the desire to practice, to work out of our offensive funk, experiment with bunts and bunt defense, etc.

Well kids, I've been encouraging you all year to go to the Sunday pick-up games at Kenwood Park hosted by Sonia Grover. She is having one more Sunday game this year, and it's this Sunday, Oct. 3, at noon. If you want to get a few more innings in, be there! If enough of us show up, we can play as a team against everyone else. Or not.

Directions: From Hennepin, take Franklin all the way west. It's right there after you pass Lake of the Isles.

Several Muskies have also talked about various strategies we should try, including how we should handle bunts on both sides of the plate. I will write more on the bunting issue, but if you had any thoughts about our latest game, that's what the Comments are for. Just place a comment here. Come on, do it!

Muskies 3, Ctrl/Alt/Del 3

Before our first game this season, Jennifer found a lucky penny in our dugout and told me to keep it. I've never taken it out of the back pocket of my kickball jeans, which I haven't washed either, because, well, if I wash the pants I'll lose the penny.

Are we just incredibly lucky? Or does it take a little more than luck to survive three straight games like these? I lean toward the latter, but we're sure getting our share of miraculous comebacks.

Yet another low-scoring nailbiter for both sides. Yet another last-minute come-from-behind rally. Yet another opponent in scoring position before the final out.

Or maybe that's just our trademark now: We're just holding our triples and doubles back until the final inning. You know, to make it interesting.

Make no mistake, we are in an offensive slump, at least compared with our gorgeous performance in Game 1. We had way too many soft pop-ups. We scored only once through seven innings and had nearly-fatal one-two-three innings in the sixth and seventh. I haven't been on base since August, and I forfeited my right to critique anyone else when I executed a sacrifice RBI with Scott on third in the fourth inning -- with TWO OUTS! I thought there was one. I may have cost us the win right there.

Ctrl/Alt/Del set the table with bunts and got a few of those runners home (but they stranded a lot of runners too, including in scoring position). Meanwhile we struggled for scoring opportunities. In the third inning, Amy led off with a single and took second on a bad throw. Mike singled her over to third base and Jennifer sacrificed her home. Ctrl/Alt/Del 2, Muskies 1.

That was all we had for seven innings, but fortunately we made it such a fast game that we had time for an eighth. After two consecutive hitless innings, we were down 3-1 and we had to dispense with the little pop-ups and start to blow them away, or else we would lose first place. Fortunately, Scott, Jenny and Dave were due up.

And it happened almost the same way as last week: with a triple -- this time a screeching liner from the foot of Scott, which I think the right fielder dropped. Jenny popped out, but then Dave smacked a textbook double up and over the right field line to make it 3-2. I was next, and the pitcher wrongly accused us of going out of order. They were rattled. But I hit a nice hard liner that went straight to the right-side shortstop. Two outs.

There was no more room for outs. Liz and Geoff each singled to load the bases. Finally Amy came through with an RBI single to score Dave and make it 3-3. And again, like last week, we survived runners in scoring position in the bottom of the inning to shut them down.

So we didn't win, but since a tie was all we needed to keep Ctrl/Alt/Del from taking our top spot, I'm very happy. Presuming we can beat last-place Fire Escape next week (and I would never presume anything), or at least hold them under four runs, we should be a lock for number one going into the playoffs. Yay!

Hits: 13-for-37 (.351)
Runs: Amy, Scott, Dave
Left on base: 10 (again)

Player of the game

She put us on the board with the first run, and she brought us back to life in the eighth with the game-tieing RBI -- the last of three improbable two-out singles. That's why Amy gets this week's honors. Thanks, Amy!

Defensive hilites

If you can't score, then you need defense, and I could scarcely be happier with everyone's play in the field. Several great pop-up catches by Geoff, Scott, Scotty, Liz and others. Sarah continued to force 'em and tag 'em in the hot corner. Pitcher Dave threw out a guy who overran third base for a key third out. (It was okay to throw at point-blank range, although Dave probably could have just run him down, since he was way off the basepath.) Dave and I completed a clean 3-1 putout at first base in the first inning. And I added a new favorite play to my scrapbook: I went on my knees to field a roller up the first-base line, then tagged the speeding runner. I held onto the ball, but when I got up the guy was on his back behind first. I was like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown. I think he was okay though.

About the only major defensive shortcoming we've had has been beating the bunt. More on that later.

After the game Dave confronted some of the other team's hecklers. Better after the game than during, I guess. Good-natured heckling is part of MUSA kickball, but some of them may have gone too far. One guy's reply was that he was still bitter about that time in June when we hit 10 straight singles to their pitcher -- as if it's our fault that their pitcher couldn't field 10 straight ground balls! I thought I was the only one who actually remembers stuff like that!

Anyway, we made peace, which is good, because they're a good group, and we might face them again in the playoffs. Let's worry about our game, not other people.

Sorry (and thanks) to those who sat out a bunch of innings because we had 14 players. Before the game I had a sit-out schedule worked out, but it fell apart because three people came late due to Bob Dole in town or something. We shouldn't have anymore 7 p.m. games this season, so it shouldn't be a problem again.